Vertigo

The feeling was warm,

A red blanket rolling between my body,

The darkness reaching up my neck

To pull my weightless mind into the dark

And cold earth.

 

Call it vertigo,

The desperation I felt to experience

All the world could offer

In one heavy swallow.

Perhaps I lived too fast to think

I could ever die young.

Perhaps I believed the world spun too fast

Around me

To realize that I was the one spinning,

I was the one who couldn’t tell up from down

When my knees hit gravel and bled.

 

Even when the tears came, my eyes

Were never shut tighter

Than when you stepped back from my hand.

I didn’t beg,

I didn’t say I loved you,

I didn’t believe we were friends,

But I did ask your name,

I did say I cared,

And I did believe you were in my mind.

 

There was a time when I could describe

My feelings as clear as water,

But now

They rise as my struggling breaths,

And they spread like petals

From the ruins of my heart.

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