The feeling was warm,
A red blanket rolling between my body,
The darkness reaching up my neck
To pull my weightless mind into the dark
And cold earth.
Call it vertigo,
The desperation I felt to experience
All the world could offer
In one heavy swallow.
Perhaps I lived too fast to think
I could ever die young.
Perhaps I believed the world spun too fast
To realize that I was the one spinning,
I was the one who couldn’t tell up from down
When my knees hit gravel and bled.
Even when the tears came, my eyes
Were never shut tighter
Than when you stepped back from my hand.
I didn’t beg,
I didn’t say I loved you,
I didn’t believe we were friends,
But I did ask your name,
I did say I cared,
And I did believe you were in my mind.
There was a time when I could describe
My feelings as clear as water,
They rise as my struggling breaths,
And they spread like petals
From the ruins of my heart.